Happily Single
We've all heard of women being happily married, or even happily "taken" if she's dating someone.. but I can't say that I've heard too many women say that they're happily single! Marriage and dating is associated with happiness, fulfillment, purpose, and completion; and for some reason being single is associated with "forever alone" quotes and stuffing your face with ice cream while you watch a black and white romantic film. Personally, this bothers me.
I'm a single woman who was once a victim of society's distortion of the single life's purpose. According to our society, that is nowhere exemplary for a healthy way of life, there are two ways to live the single life: Sit around and sulk as you feel bad for yourself & watch the clock tick until Prince Charming knocks on your door, or embrace your single status and hook up with every man in sight just because you can! ...Really? Doll, I'm pleading with you to not adopt either of these mentalities! Society is wrong. Reality TV is dead wrong (and fake).
Being single is not a disadvantage nor is it something to be ashamed of! The single life has a purpose, but not just any purpose, a divine purpose. When you're single, you're in a mandatory season of your life. This particular season is essential to growing into the respectable woman you were designed to be. Being in a committed relationship can be a great thing, but it's time consuming and forces you to continuously give it effort. Relationships require constant work. Work to get better, grow stronger, & last longer. There is no way you will successfully be in a relationship if you haven't done that work on yourself first. How will a man be able to love you if you don't have confidence in your own reflection? How can you give a man what he wants if you don't know what you want? How will you be able to lift your man up with encouragement if you think negatively about yourself? Being happy with someone else only works if you know how to be happy with yourself. This is where the single life serves its purpose!
The worst thing you could do is rush this season of your life because then you rob yourself of the valuable lesson that only being single can teach you! When we rush anything to happen, the product will always be premature. Things worth recognizing takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes a baby nine months to develop before it's ready for birth. God even took time with creating the very land we live on (although He could have done it in a day ;). If we rush our season of being single, we'll likely end up settling because the man God created for us is still in the process of becoming the man we need him to be, but because we refuse to wait to be pursued properly, we end up falling for the first guy who has anything flattering to say! Are we that lonely that we'd rather miss out on life with our Adam?
Just like our Adam needs time to develop, we need time to develop! If you truly believe that there is a man out there who will love you the way God designed us to love, then you should be thrilled to spend this time as a single woman perfecting your heart so that the man of your dreams falls in love with a woman of substance! Use this time wisely. Learn something new about yourself every day. Challenge yourself to invite change into your life. Love yourself more and more each day. Become content with it being just you and the Lord for now. Focus on your goals as you set yourself up for a stable future! Falling in love with yourself is something to be happy about! Coming to the realization that you don't need a man to complete you because God already made you whole is something to be happy about! Don't let this season pass you by without taking something from it.
Think of your situation this way: compared to a lifetime with your husband who'll be the Father of your children, the leader of the family, the head of the household, your best friend, your forever love; what's four or five years of preparation? I don't know about you, but I'll be single for ten years waiting for my boo because I know he'll be worth every second of those years combined. The next time someone asks you what your relationship status is, don't just say you're single, tell them that you're happily single!
You're so loved,
Erica Xx
I'm a single woman who was once a victim of society's distortion of the single life's purpose. According to our society, that is nowhere exemplary for a healthy way of life, there are two ways to live the single life: Sit around and sulk as you feel bad for yourself & watch the clock tick until Prince Charming knocks on your door, or embrace your single status and hook up with every man in sight just because you can! ...Really? Doll, I'm pleading with you to not adopt either of these mentalities! Society is wrong. Reality TV is dead wrong (and fake).
Being single is not a disadvantage nor is it something to be ashamed of! The single life has a purpose, but not just any purpose, a divine purpose. When you're single, you're in a mandatory season of your life. This particular season is essential to growing into the respectable woman you were designed to be. Being in a committed relationship can be a great thing, but it's time consuming and forces you to continuously give it effort. Relationships require constant work. Work to get better, grow stronger, & last longer. There is no way you will successfully be in a relationship if you haven't done that work on yourself first. How will a man be able to love you if you don't have confidence in your own reflection? How can you give a man what he wants if you don't know what you want? How will you be able to lift your man up with encouragement if you think negatively about yourself? Being happy with someone else only works if you know how to be happy with yourself. This is where the single life serves its purpose!
The worst thing you could do is rush this season of your life because then you rob yourself of the valuable lesson that only being single can teach you! When we rush anything to happen, the product will always be premature. Things worth recognizing takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes a baby nine months to develop before it's ready for birth. God even took time with creating the very land we live on (although He could have done it in a day ;). If we rush our season of being single, we'll likely end up settling because the man God created for us is still in the process of becoming the man we need him to be, but because we refuse to wait to be pursued properly, we end up falling for the first guy who has anything flattering to say! Are we that lonely that we'd rather miss out on life with our Adam?
Think of your situation this way: compared to a lifetime with your husband who'll be the Father of your children, the leader of the family, the head of the household, your best friend, your forever love; what's four or five years of preparation? I don't know about you, but I'll be single for ten years waiting for my boo because I know he'll be worth every second of those years combined. The next time someone asks you what your relationship status is, don't just say you're single, tell them that you're happily single!
You're so loved,
Erica Xx
